Everyone handles grief according to the relationship between their experience and the loss they are suffering. Still, some characteristics are common to all. These are defined as the stages of grief people go through when dealing with losses. These stages help to understand grief and its effects. This structure helps us develop ways in which we can deal with grief. Not everyone goes through all stages of the process in the same chronological order, but most feel these.
Major Circumstances For Grief
Generally, death is believed as the reason behind grieving, but this process is not confined to those who suffer from the death of their loved ones. Other life-changing traumatic events also make people experience some or all stages of the painful process.
- Separation or divorce
- Loss of home due to disaster
- Relocation of friends and family
- Detention or other quarantine
Stages Of Grief
This stage usually lasts for weeks or months, but it can last for even years for some. The denial acts as adequate protection against the harsh reality and impact of significant loss. You are given time to process emotions and shock in stages rather than all at once. Survivors may begin to believe in this fantasy themselves as they invent it. They can still set extra space on the dining table, refuse to bring their belongings, or expect them to go through the door at any time.
The second stage is often referred to as the anger stage. The transition from denial to anger depends on the person who mourns. There are many reasons you can get angry after losing a loved one. People in this stage often express anger at the situation, the dead, the ones who have killed their loved ones, etc. Anger also occurs when one hesitates to accept that one must continue life without a loved one.
The third stage is to bargain or negotiate desperately with God and others or find ways to change the stressful situation. This phase can be characterized by guilt, frustration, an attempt to negotiate with another person to reverse the painful situation, or an attempt to redo things before the loss. It is a wasteful expression of the grief of a sad person trying to undo the death of a loved one.
During this stage of grief, a person realizes the happening of the event. They admit that nothing can be done to change the outcome. The grieving individual loses all hope and no longer has the will to fight for a different outcome.
A certain blankness begins to settle in, and more profound grief takes over. While depression is an unnatural state of despair, it is a phase that prepares you for the acceptance stage. Therefore, it is necessary to detach and isolate oneself from any emotional aspect of the loss or situation in this stage.
In this last stage of the grieving process, acceptance starts to settle in. In this final phase, grieving individuals can start coming to terms with their loss and the event. They may reach a final contemplation and acceptance of the circumstances and that they can’t change reality.
The impact that their loss has on their life and relationships also begins to take shape. Acceptance doesn’t mean that they’re okay with their loss or that they’ve forgotten what’s happened. It’s about accepting the present to move into the future under changing circumstances.
How Do People Usually Deal With Grief?
Grieving people usually do not seek professional help to combat the signs of grief. Instead, people typically seek friends and family support, but they may not provide the best care and advice. People seeking outside help usually rely on their church leaders, online grief groups, professional counselors, and therapists to guide them through their suffering. Unfortunately, many of the remaining suffer in silence until their sorrow turns into vigilant action.
The Different Models Of Grief
The most common models of grief are:
- The Kübler Ross is an early model of death. It is based on their observations of grieving people through controlled and conducted studies of specific patients in their care. The model suggests that people suffer depending on their experiences. But she also admits that not everyone experiences every stage of grief and is not always in the prescribed order.
- Four Tasks of Grief: William Worden, a therapist, developed his version of the Grief Model. It emphasizes the need for work, commitment, and active participation to overcome grief. The jobs assigned to overcome grief are:
- Accepting the reality of loss
- Addressing the pain of dying
- Adapting to a deceased environment
- Finding a lasting connection with the deceased as a new life begins
Grief is personal to everyone who has ever suffered a loss. However, there are some commonly identifiable similarities in how we handle grief and deal with our losses. Even though people treat grief and loss differently, suffering has many common experiences and phrases. With proper help and support, overcoming these stages can be quickly done without getting the thoughts of death.